Thank you for taking the time to read my fitness blog.
OK, a brief introduction - I am 27 years old, 5'8, and on the road to lose 100 pounds. I live in Mobile, Alabama, but I am originally from Detroit, Michigan.
I have struggled with my weight since about the age of 10. I would join Weight Watchers and have great success, but then I would quickly backslide. I did what most women do that battle their weight, I would promise myself things like: "I will start back on Monday." or "After the holidays, I will start eating right again." In the beginning of December 2014, I stepped on my bathroom scale as the number 260 flashed on the screen. It had to be wrong. I quickly jumped off, and I stepped back on, only to be greeted by the same number.
The weird thing about over-eaters is we are master manipulators of ourselves. We can avoid staring in the mirror too long, eating a second - or third - helping when no one is looking, or justify why those size 18 jeans are just a little too snug.
Then, reality hits - and just like that - it levels you. There is no more hiding. You see yourself in a photo, see a number on a scale or finally look up from the lie we bury ourselves in, and we see a person looking back at us that we simply don't recognize.
For me, it was seeing the number. But most important, I finally was attuned to how unhappy I was. I DREADED momentous occasions like my college graduation or holidays where I would be forced to have my picture taken. And when you're big, shopping is never a joyful experience. Often times you find yourself in the plus size section of department stores packed with clothes that are not flattering for any size or age. So, I would skip out on life's precious moments for fear of not wanting to be seen or judged. I would resist going on the dance floor because, god forbid, some guys at the bar poke fun at 'the fat girl' dancing. I would squirm in my seat in class for fear that others would notice that the desk was just a bit to narrow for me. I was going through life on cruise control, and the only thing that made me feel anything was food. It filled me up. It comforted me. It didn't judge. It is like an invisible cloak that keeps you protected from feelings of self hatred and doubt. And above everything, it keeps the lie going that you are OK.
For the first time, I wasn't motivated first by weight loss or vanity. I wanted to get my light back. I wanted to be happy. So, I made the decision to not focus on weight loss but rather just being a better version of myself. I would simply exercise, eat healthy, read more books, take my niece for walks, play with my dogs and just LOVE myself enough to be kinder to my soul. So, the first week of December 2014, I signed up for personal training at a local gym, cleaned out my refrigerator, ordered a stack of books from Amazon and laced up my sneakers on the weekends for a beautiful stroll with my niece and pups.
There is something to be said when you make the decision to be happy. You feel almost more connected to life. You discover things that brought you joy, and you stop the negative self-hatred talk. You just live. You smile. You become - free.
Three months later, I am 26 pounds down and losing inches. I signed up for my first 5k, and I am hoping to lose a total of 100 pounds. I want you to know that if you are reading this, you - right now - can make the choice to start living. I promise the first step is the hardest part, but you will be so glad you did. I hope my blog and Facebook page with serve as a beacon of light that you can do this. I might even throw in a picture of Tom Hardy for good measure :)
Cheers to the new you! Thank you for following me friends!
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